The value of being a Loser as a Kid.
The value of being a Loser as a Kid.
This just has to stop. Plain and simple .
This might seem a little bit like a rant but, take a step back and really look at the bubble world that is forming around the “emotional protection” of our young athletes.
The majority of the stories below are all examples of how not to teach your kids lessons in life, success, dealing with a loss, overcoming adversity, adaptation, improving, growing and even good sportsmanship.
Parents consider lawsuit after daughter loses valedictorian spot (not everybody wins)
Bryce Miller: Is running an appropriate punishment for coaches to inflict on players? (Disrespectful but not accountable)
Ark. mother sues district, state for constitutional violation after son cut from varsity team (Not everybody Wins)
Female football player sits out after opponents threaten to forfeit (Poor Sportsmanship and ignorance)
California pitcher strikes out 20 batters, then is removed with chance to finish off all-strikeout game ( diminishing chance for rare Successes)
St. George’s calls an audible (Forfeit of failure?)
Full court controversy (Accountability)
Shaker Heights forfeits football game to Warrensville Heights
New Jersey football team forfeits league game against top foe because of safety concerns (Forfeit of failure?)
ISL sanctions Lawrence Academy (Success is frowned upon)
The Windsor High School football team will forfeit its non-league game in fear of getting hurt in the game (Forfeit of failure?)
Classic kids games like kickball deemed unsafe by state in effort to increase summer camp regulation ( Just embarrassing… Safety is an illusion)
Please click and read at least one of the above to understand where I am coming from. To me the most disturbing ones are those dealing with forfeit.
FORFEIT
When is forfeit Ok? When is it just saying I have given up on myself?
In a time where students are tested and compared to high standards in academics so frequently, this issue should not even come up. How are you expecting a student to overcome an academic “powerhouse” type obstacle they have (advanced math for me) when you are bailing them out of athletic competitions based on an opposing team’s strength? What happen to the underdog story? Or the story of David and Goliath? You really think that strategy is going to help them or, is this depriving the student athletes the chance to learn from a situation that has the potential help them develop and grow? A forfeit from the administration/coach shows they themselves do not believe in you or your teams’ ability to succeed facing adversity; which will leave a lasting emotional/mental response with similar situations facing these student athletes in the future. Not every thing has to result with a Win in the record book. Playing the game to the best of your ability and not giving up on yourself is a better victory for a team that is seen as an underdog. If this resilient effort leads to a victory then both sides have learned a a valuable lesson.The forfeit should be left to those situations where one team either has broken the rules or can not field a team; not because you don’t think your team will win.
ACCOUNTABILITY
Accountability is important in all aspects of life regardless if we are talking about kids or adults. For athletes this one is tough, simply because there is a limit in how you should handle and assign something to promote being accountable especially if you administer a physical type punishment such as the one discussed in the articles above( like running). On one hand you have an athlete who by default is a human being and will make mistakes in judgment every now and again; that’s what it means to be human. As a coach/administration you need to understand what the wrong doing was in its entirety before choosing the type of punishment. Each type of penalty or punishment will take something from an athlete; a physical one will take energy, Admission of fault will take humility and authoritative action such as suspension will take time. Which one is the harsher punishment? I feel that suspension should be left for more serious offenses because Time is finite for everyone. Time is the one thing you can not get back and using it for such a small offenses can be incredibly harsh. In this case a physical or admission of fault type punishment like confronting your team and running might fit the crime better even though there is some physical or emotion trauma. These types of punishments keep the player on the field and rebuilding relationships they might have hurt with their action while still teaching a lesson in a relatively short period of time.
NOT EVERYBODY WINS
The third most concerning piece is the fact that parents/adults think demanding a victory will lead to a victory. This is not the case in any real life scenario. If it was then I would have won the lottery by now. Whether you want to admit it or not there is competition all around us. It can come in many forms but a winner will win there will always be losers. Those who finish just shy of the victor will have to try something different when they get another opportunity to win. Success does not have to be associated with a reward or trophy. The personal improvement and personal growth from doing your best should be emphasized over receiving praise for your accomplishment. Acknowledgment in saying “awesome job” or congratulations should be re-enforced as an appropriate reward for achievement.
Sportsmanship and PURE IGNORANCE
What about sportsmanship and respect? I mean lets be serious this is 2012; gender, sexual, racial, religious beliefs/ identification should not determine, affect the ability or opportunity for someone to participate. The fact that we are still playing to these stereotypes only proves that there are people unwilling to change from the ways of our past. This should not be tolerated plain and simple.
TOO MUCH PROTECTION
For young kids sport and physical activities teach more than just win and lose. They are extremely important in motor development and learning. Skills in these childhood games are carried over to other everyday movements. Consider it practice and learning without the structure of a school or instructor/coach…you just play. It’s the same way that as adults some of us hate to run on the treadmill but will play basketball for hours without hesitation. You get the benefits of the activity being cardiovascular without hating every second of it. Basketball has more risks than running on a treadmill but, you still do it. Our Kids are becoming more inactive as it is and only sets them up for failure down the road if they want to excel in athletics.
EVERYTHING has its inherit risks; from freshly pine soled wood floors, bunk beds, driving in a car(seatbelt buckled) to playing in games and sports. Safety should be taught as a process of thought where the individual understands what makes it a good or bad decision.
I linked this south park episode below (click the picture) because while taking it to an extreme they really got it right with this episode. It is mostly focused on the recent changes to the NFL regarding player safety but you can see the point.
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Originally published at fitletes.com
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